The Lady Garden

Tea and Strumpets

Sharing the love

Things we liked, or didn’t like, from around the internet this week.

On being fat at the gym.

I expose my body to expose the fears of others–the fear of claiming space as a fat person, the fear of calling attention to a body outside the bounds of accepted perfection. The other day, I saw another fat woman in tiny shorts on the treadmill ahead of me–tiny shorts, the secret handshake of happy fats.

A new study on the mental health of porn actresses should (but won’t) put the ‘damaged goods’ theory to bed forever:

The present study compared the self-reports of 177 porn actresses to a sample of women matched on age, ethnicity, and marital status. Comparisons were conducted on sexual behaviors and attitudes, self-esteem, quality of life, and drug use… In terms of psychological characteristics, porn actresses had higher levels of self-esteem, positive feelings, social support, sexual satisfaction, and spirituality compared to the matched group.

Clarisse Thorn has written a long and occasionally harrowing piece about the down side of being a kinky feminist.

But as I’ve written about feminism and S&M, I’ve also known the rules about what I get to write. I’m not sure how I internalized these rules, but I know them like I know my face in the mirror. When I write, I’m supposed to emphasize the emotional health of my relationships

Another thinky piece from a thinky feminist we love – Blue Milk writing at Daily Life on Meticulous Bohemia.

Andrew Potter described this perverse situation as “meticulous Bohemia” in his book, The Authenticity Hoax. A situation where you can feel like you are rejecting the materialism of the mainstream but be chasing the status of subculture. Where you can tie yourself in knots by self-consciously trying to perform an authentic sense of self, and where you resist advertising phoniness but then fall for any dubious product with ‘ethnic’ attached to it. Where you want to be different, just like everyone else, which is why every hipster around the world looks the same and all parents use the word ‘play-date’ now. The danger is that you can become obsessed with obtaining authenticity at any cost. And it never really existed.

The comments at Daily Life are… interesting. Blue Milk has an intro to the piece at her own place, and the discussion there is right on point.

The war on men. Sigh. You can probably write this by yourself. Women getting equality leads to sad men which is a bad thing so we should back track on this silly equality thing. Otherwise it’s plain that we just hate men. Whatever. The latest installment in this never ending series came from Susan Venker at Fox News. Our own lovely thinker Tallulah had a bit to say about it, as does Echidne of the Snakes: The new war on men. Women’s fault.

More on Gillard and Abbott: Is Abbott too sexist to rule?.

Mr Abbott said last month: “Never, ever, will I attempt to say that as a man I have been the victim of powerful forces beyond my control and how dare any prime minister of Australia play the victim card.”

Ms Gillard said: “I think it is actually a manifestation of deep sexism that you would say that if a woman raises her voice then that is her playing the victim as opposed to her standing up for her rights.”

FoTLG Friend of Marilyn writes about the sheer difficulty of getting the MSM to stop repeating myths about obesity: Untruths and Omissions.

Perhaps the most damage done by the news media on this topic is their refusal to accurately present the evidence on weight loss or engage with the evidence at all. Empirical data has shown weight loss attempts – whether through diet, exercise, lifestyle change, etc – to fail in 95% of individuals. Almost all individuals who attempt to lose weight are unable to achieve a meaningful (more than 10 kilos) and permanent (longer than 5 years) reduction in weight. And yet, this is rarely included in any story you see about obesity, fatness, dieting, etc. When was the last time you read a piece where weight loss was part of the story – and the 5% success rate was included? This glaring omission reinforces the belief that fat people could stop being fat if they simply tried hard enough. It reinforces the indignation of those with anti-fat attitudes, and the shame of those who have failed to reduce their body weight.

Your weekend funny: Capuchin monkeys fight for equal pay.

I (Deb) hope that you’re having a lovely weekend. Feel free to treat this as an open thread, for any chitterchatter you would like to share.

2 responses to “Sharing the love

  1. Deborah December 1, 2012 at 9:41 pm

    Finished! I have finished my marking!!! And I finish (paid) work for the year next Friday, when my girls’ schools break up. Thank goodness for that.

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