The Lady Garden
Tea and Strumpets
Quickie: The NZ Herald hates sex education
Teenagers are being let down by sex education that doesn’t tell them it’s best to wait until you’re an adult and have one sexual partner for life, a visiting physician says.
No, our education doesn’t teach that, nor bloody well should it. Jesus.
In other news, anyone want to make a guess at which conservative, “values” organisation is having its conference? And is utilising what appears to be its free quota of advertising in the New Zealand Herald?
[Update: Previous writings on the Herald trying to whip up moral panic over sex education can be found from here. I'd seek out all the articles, but I need a drink now. Feel free to add what you think sex education should teach into the comments.)
[Update #2: The delightful Dr will be on CloseUp tonight. Watch!]
[update #3: our Coley has decided that Dr Grossman is her new best friend, and has found some of her columns. This one is a particular doozy. What girls want is an obsessive, controlling, creepy vampire to love them. Not careers or adequate healthcare or basic respect, but to avoid sexual behavior until a dude who will “protect” them comes along.
Huh. So now the Slut Number is… two?
In which case, I am TRULY fucked.
Um, so to speak.
Tallulah, I think that sums up what you’re doing wrong pretty accurately.
By that guide I should have stuck with the guy I first had sex with in high school. We’d be celebrating our 30th anniversary pretty soon. Of course, we still couldn’t get *married*, but that’s a minor thing, surely, compared to 30 years of single-partner bliss?
Wow, I got in between Tallulah’s two comments, then when I posted I got her second one in the refresh. Sorry about that.
Heh. I understood your point, though.
Were it me, I’d be living halfway around the world, likely unhappy, and would have never had the education/opportunities I’ve had. But that would be OK, right?
I’d be living in Timaru and regularly getting beaten up by someone I didn’t love. But that’s okay, right?
I suppose, in fairness to Dr Grossman, none of us waited til we were adults. Depending on your definition. I mean, if I had waited til I was an adult…I’d likely still be waiting.
Define adult… having an imaginary friend who dominates your social life and substitutes for much of your moral thinking doesn’t really qualify as adult behaviour. Just while we’re on the subject and all.
That was kind of the badly made point I was trying to sarcastically make – who decides what an adult is, especially in this respect?
An adult is someone who’s only ever had one sexual partner, of course.
Actually, there should be a socially accepted definition, ideally one codified in some way so that we can all agree on what it is and make that fact known. Perhaps we could do this by electing a representative group of some sort who could deliberate on the matter then when they reach a conclusion publicise it so that wider society can decide whether to accept it or not? Then, once the tumult and uproar subsides and any necessary adjustments are made, the formal proclamation could be made? Perhaps in the form of a booklet or document of record issued by the aforementioned group?
Nah, far funnier to let every shaved monkey act on its own hare-brained idea of the day.
If I’d waited until I was an adult I’d have missed out on the experiences that taught me what I wanted and led me to choose the life partner I did. Following her instructions I’d either have shackled myself to a dominant bully or would still be waiting for a special someone to deflower me.
I’m actually pretty sure that a sex education which taught me that sex was something people enjoyed doing but should be practiced with appropriate precautions is (one) reason I ended up having a sex life which basically fits that rather narrow prescription. But, weirdly enough, it didn’t leave me thinking that this meant anyone else was obliged to do the same.
Also, why is it called “deflowering”? That sounds like something you do after a funeral. Or in horticulture.
Because ladybits are delicate, like a flower, and once you’ve broken them, you’re more like a thorny, leafless, dying hedge.
In other news, here‘s Scuba Nurse’s great piece on Dr Grossman.